They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
