Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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