like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
