I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
