guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
