I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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