you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
