Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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