Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
