Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize