Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
