So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I deserve this hangover.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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