Got a toothbrush?
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize