I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
