are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
