So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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