in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize