YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
