We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
it glows. i had to have it.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
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