You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
