yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
