the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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