She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
