With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
