I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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