he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
