Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
