Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Randomize
