Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
