the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
