Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Are we still banned from the library?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
