Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Do vagina's smell?
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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