Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
