dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
