he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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