I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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