I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
