Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
