you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
foreskin is a definite game changer
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
