New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
