This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
