She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
