i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
We need to rekindle our bromance
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize