Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I need a beard to bite.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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