carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
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