meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
