This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
