Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
