people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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