I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize