my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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