She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
