why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Randomize
