My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
