Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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